Sponge bath it is.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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