Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
