New low: just hacked my moms facebook
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
