it was like eating out sand paper
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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