first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
