it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The struggles of a small town man whore
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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