I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
