you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You need a sexual gate keeper
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize