Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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