turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
