Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i was born a porn star she said
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
