My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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