Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
