You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
