I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
is it fun? or sober?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
