Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
