Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
