4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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