go do what you do best...puke behind churches
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
