I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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