my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Randomize
