Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize