What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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