now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
