Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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