Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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