she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
