worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
