Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
