Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
