singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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