Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
