Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
