i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
