Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
