his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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