My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
