honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
