so that wasnt chicken after all
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
