I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize