Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Randomize
