i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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