No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We have so much sex to catch up on
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
