I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
and you fell through a lawn chair
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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