pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
