Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
