Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We left the knife in your bed.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
