Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
and she was petting her beer can
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
