i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
