I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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