well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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