you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
