Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
