No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
