i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I came so hard my ears popped.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
