Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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