Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
