OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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