I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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