Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
