I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
