Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
