Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
