Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
