Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
