Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
two words: eviction party
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
