It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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