The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
