Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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