I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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