I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
