Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
