make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
