How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
