bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
