So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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