Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
