what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
