I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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