this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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