wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
