Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
