If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
