I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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