If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
